One-Two-Go Report Delays

A year and a half after the tragic (and allegedly avoidable) One-Two-Go crash at Phuket airport the Thai DCA still has not released its official report:

http://phuketwan.com/tourism/phuket-air-crash-report-yet-another-delay/

A group of relatives of those killed has managed to find out a lot of information though:

http://www.investigateudom.com/

It really makes you think - do your due diligence before you get on a plane and don't have blind faith in the authorities!

Siem Reap Airways on EU Blacklist

The EU has banned all personnel from flying with Siem Reap Airways and forbidden the airline from entering into EU airspace.

Interestingly enough the airline has no European routes and only flies to Siem Reap, Phnom Penh, Bangkok and Phuket. It is also owned by Bangkok Airways which has always had a fairly good reputation (for a Thai airline).

The official blacklist can be found here:

http://ec.europa.eu/transport/air-ban/pdf/list_fr.pdf

5 steps to secure the maximum amount sleep on Asian flights

1. Remember to pre-pack a legal amount of sleeping pills, painkillers and tranquilisers in your carry on baggage
2. Upon check-in request a seat as far away from screaming children and Koreans as possible
3. Proceed immediately to the nearest airport bar and lubricate yourself with spirits until your final gate call is issued.
4. After boarding the plane assess the people sitting nearest to you and suggest a series of cunning seat swaps to avoid proximity to screaming children and Koreans
5. Once in the air unpack sleeping pills, painkillers and tranquilisers and administer liberally to yourself and/or the screaming children and Koreans in your vicinity

Singapore versus the rest of the Asia and the world

Singapore is an aviation anomaly.

This small island state manages boasts one of the best airlines in the world in terms of quality and value for money as well as an internationally renowned airport.

In-flight passengers benefit from attentive and polite trolley dollies and the reassurance that comes from flying in aircraft which are less than a decade old.

At Changi the officials are welcoming, the airport is well laid out and the government even provides free mini-island tours for passengers who are in-transit and have a few hours to kill.

In the fight for the title of regional aviation hub Singapore beats Kuala Lumpur and Suvarnabhumi hands down.

The Subvarnabhumi Bangkok Massage

While the airport might not be entirely structurally safe and possibly in danger of imploding at any moment Subvarnabhumi does offer much more in terms of creature comforts than Don Muang ever did.

My last transfer through the place left me with nearly five hours to kill and my general dislike of Thai beer convinced me to try out the massage parlours that are dotted around the airport instead of getting hammered at the bar and kicking off my twelve hour international flight with a changover.

A decent range of massage services are on offer in increments of 15 minutes with Thai, Oil, Foot, Neck and Hand all available (no mention of Bangkok’s famous rub and tug though…)

I paid 600 Baht for an hour long Thai massage in small cordoned off private bedroom.

This is about double to triple the normal cost but everything at Subvarnabhumi is expensive so in context the price was not extortionate (anyway most Bangkok hotels charge upwards of 1,000 Baht for the same service).

The masseuse was quite good and after an hour of her bending me every which way I was blissfully relaxed and in a fine mood.

I managed to hang onto that chilled out state of mind all the way up to boarding the plane where I discovered that cattle class was jam packed with hygienically suspect backpackers, aging sexpats and screaming children.

I wisely took my cue and began quaffing my emergency stash of booze and valium.

Queuing at Heathrow

Heathrow, bloody Heathrow.

If you don’t arrive early for your flight then you face an agonising queue and a closed check in.

If you do arrive early for your flight then you face an agonising queue and a closed check in.

It is the airport that damns you if you do and screws you if you don’t.

Liquids on flights – Plastic bag mystery

One of the most pointless airport security measures of the last year must be the bizarrely implemented liquids on flights crackdown.

Understandably after terror plots to smuggle liquids onto plans to blow them up there was a clampdown on what passengers could bring in their hand luggage.

Apart from Duty Free purchases it is not possible to bring any containers with more 100ml of liquid inside.

Now before you board an international flight you have to take out all your liquids and place them into a transparent plastic bag given to you.

On my last flight I had around ten 100ml containers in my hand luggage which the airport security told me I had to place in a plastic bag they gave to me.

I was informed it was of the utmost importance that I keep all these liquids in the plastic bag at all times and that I had to keep it separate from my carry on luggage.

The security personnel seemed convinced that this plastic bag was strong enough to prevent anything from going wrong should I be a terrorist carrying liquid explosives.

Myself and every other person passing through the checkpoint promptly ignored the daft order and stashed their useless jiffy bag full of toiletries and duty free back into their bags as soon as we were out of sight of security